THAT was more than 5 pounds...

What became Spontaneous Truthfest 2013 deserves to be written about.

I'll have to circle back when time allows.

The experience of having confidence that I was being told the truth -- being able to rely on honesty from others -- had an enormous impact on me.  It felt so good.  And I now know that I have plenty of people in my life that are willing to tell me the truth when I need to hear it.

So I don't need to leave room for people who would deceive me.  3 days after my truth experiment, I would stand up to someone who lied to me, led me on, and hurt my heart.

And it would hurt like hell.  But I would know that I did the right thing as I pushed him out of my life.  His credibility was shot, and he didn't care to rebuild it.  I'm still sad about that.  But I guess I can't be sad that he's gone now.

That said, it was a huge undertaking to summon my courage to speak up, and follow through.  I could feel my heart pounding through my eardrums as I got his attention.  I wanted so badly to be wrong about him, to find out that he cared after all...

But truth's important.  He continued to show me he didn't care.  To refuse to acknowledge that just because it didn't match what I wanted would've amounted to lying to myself.  :(

I deserve better than being lied to, and lying to myself.  So yay for self-worth.

But I really knocked myself out.  I'm supposed to be doing small things, and standing up for myself felt HUGE.  I'm still kind of recovering.

I will try something small today, just to get back into the swing of things.