The very BEST part of my weekend occurred today. It also was my most positive experience with this project yet. I got in over my head, because it took WAAAAAAAY more than 15 minutes! But every moment was worth it. I'll probably do this again sometime soon because I enjoyed it so much, and because it was so well received by the lovely people who joined in on my "work" for the day.
I was feeling extremely low. (See recent previous posts.) So on my way home from church, I decided I'd post a status on my facebook wall basically saying that if any of my friends wanted a quick 15 minute call from me, let's make that happen.
It's important to mention here that only people who do not generate or perpetuate drama in my life get to see my posts on fb. Access is limited to keep those who would use me for emotional target practice OUT. So I felt confident that I was making this offer to the right set of people. :)
So I figured maybe 1 or 2 friends would take me up on a phone call from me, and I'd feel good just knowing someone wanted to connect...
Then came the flood of messages. At first I could keep up, but by about 4PM I was backlogged, and stayed that way 'til I was done!
It took me NINE HOURS, but ~15 minutes at a time, I got to everyone who wanted a phone call! Occasionally I'd do something like go to the bathroom or move the laundry over from the washer to the dryer, and at one point I even took a nap because I felt like I needed it. So I still took care of me when today's project took on a life of its own.
The experience was unlike anything I could've pictured. People I've *never* had a real conversation with, or that I've only known peripherally queued up for this. Like, I had a talk with my college ex's wife! We talked about their baby, life in general, depression, etc. I got to talk to my friend Mad Mike about banjos, songwriting, and then to his wife about recovering from surgery. A friend's daughter told me about how she just got a new horse that's afraid of 2ft high trees, and how she had accidentally witnessed a cow dying that morning while she was just trying to have a cigarette. Ian and I talked about hair, dogs, and words that are difficult to say without hurting oneself. Cheri told me about her upcoming surgery, and all of the things she realized she's not going to be able to do. I mean, I can't even remember all of the things I conversed about today! But, wow.
The neat part was that defining it as a 15 minute time frame meant being efficient, and making the most of that short period of time. Nobody felt like they were going to be "stuck" on the phone with anybody else. It's so much easier to offer your time and presence when you know what you're getting into.
Also, the offer I put forth was to just shoot the breeze. With some, I did talk about the things that had been weighing on me, but only in very general terms, and only if they didn't have things they wanted to discuss themselves. I had friends with whom I could hash out my troubles, and had already done that. That wasn't what this project was about. It was about strengthening the connections in my life with people who could say they wanted to hear from me: people who therefore obviously care about my well-being. That was exactly what I wanted.
Call after call, it was just like having the best kind of party where lots of people come from all possible friend circles and you still get time to talk to each and every one. Afterward, there were people who were disappointed that they hadn't seen my status in time to get their "turn". I've assured them that I will do this again sometime. All I can say is that there's just no possible way to feel the least bit unwanted after experiencing something like this. *beams*
I've since received messages thanking me, or following up on things discussed, and I feel a general sense of deeper closeness with my friends that I wasn't feeling before.
I'm especially glad that I encouraged friends with whom I don't normally get to speak to take me up on this. People came out of the woodwork. There were even some who I thought had a low opinion of me that were absolutely thrilled to be on the other end of my call.
I'm glad this idea came to me on a Sunday so I could make as many calls as I wanted. I know some days will be more limiting time-wise, so one "rep" with the 5 pound worth weight will have to do.
Doing many reps worked today, though.
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