Back To Considering My Self Worth

“Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” 
― M. Scott Peck

It's nearly 6AM, and I have been up since 4.  I fell asleep at around 8PM last night, after having fought to remain awake since about 6PM.  That full night's sleep felt so good, and I hardly regret any socializing or fun I sacrificed for the rest I needed.  

What woke me up was the hiss of my radiator.  I'dve probably slept through it had I gone to bed later, but I am glad it woke me up when I did.
I won't be groggy when I go out the door this morning.
I had time to make a list of things I'd like to accomplish today.
I was able to take what few foods I have left in the house and make a tasty breakfast out of them.
And most importantly, I was able to look into emergency heating help.

I have been freaking out because even after keeping my apartment's temperature around 60F tops, the 3/4 tank-full I had at the start of Demember is down to 1/4, and could drop precipitously at any time.  Once down to 1/4, the readings are unreliable.

I have trouble expressing that I deserve a warm home.  But without reservation, I can say that I don't deserve to freeze!

So I spent my early morning quiet time (I really do love that it's so quiet!!!) checking my eligibility for home heating assistance.  It appears that I will qualify.  After teaching this morning, I have time to pull together the paperwork today, and will go in-person to the appropriate agency for help.

I deserve help right now.
I deserve peace of mind.
I'm worth these things.

In lifecoaching, I have begun to take the "me" that I've worked so hard to cultivate, and have learned to value myself.

(I still can't believe I have a lifecoach.  And that I am part of a mastermind.  These are things I never thought I'd need.  But the missing link was self appreciation, and being part of this group is what helped me to realize that being awesome doesn't matter one bit if you don't like yourself, or care to treat yourself well.)

I should have gainful employment.  I am worth it.
I should also matter to the people who matter to me.

I've begun to feel that I deserve the kindness and consideration of others.  Something in me has always known it, but now it actually resonates with me.

And so, after a break, I am now back to writing about it.