All I've got time for right now is a quick post to log the work I've done so far on this, my new project.
I'll explain soon why I am doing it, and what I hope to accomplish.
Tomorrow, I will begin having a scheduled block of time for building and honoring my sense of self worth. I thought I'd get started today with things that deserve recognition simply for applying to my goal just because they occurred.
From these three happenings, I feel as if I can begin to derive a sense of self worth:
1. I MADE SOMEONE'S DAY! One of my favorite water aerobics students turned up at a class I was covering. She was happily surprised that I was there. She patted me on the back and said "It's a good day because you're here!" (Note: I wish I could remember her name! In my mind, her name is "Smiley" because she's always wearing such a joyful smile whenever I see her.)
2. A WHOLE CLASS FULL OF STUDENTS CHEERED FOR ME, AND I LET MYSELF ACCEPT THAT I DESERVED IT! It was a busy day, and I kept up! That in and of itself was an accomplishment. I was only supposed to teach 3 classes. ("Only." Ha! That's 3 hours of working out in one day!) But emergency coverage was requested at a time that somewhat overlapped with my third class, and no one else was stepping up to the plate to teach it. I offered to help with the understanding that I wouldn't get there on time (they'd have to start 20 minutes late for a 7:30PM class, which is late enough already!) since I wouldn't be done with my third class 'til 7:15PM, and the 2 pools are 40 minutes apart. When I arrived, the class looked up, and erupted into happy cheering and applause! They could've been bent out of shape because I was late, especially since they didn't know why. (They only knew that the class would start late.) They could've left at 8:30PM, but they stayed the whole hour. And they were happy to have me -- not just because no one else could come, but because they're thrilled to have me as a teacher. I got so many compliments for giving them an energetic workout! Not bad for the 4th class of a 3-class day. ;)
Praise and self worth tend to go hand in hand, but all the praise in the world is for naught if I'm unwilling to accept it. My accomplishment here wasn't earning the praise. It was basking in it, and allowing myself to believe that I deserved it. It would've been so me to say "Oh, they're just being nice!" or "Maybe they're actually mocking me." Or even "This show of gratitude and enthusiasm is over the top based on what I can give them." But I accepted it, appreciated it, pumped my fist in the air, and yelled "WOO! YES, HERE I AM! LET'S PARTY!!!"
3. (Here's the biggie!) A STRANGER TOOK A CHANCE ON ME! I'll write more about this soon, because the inspiration for this project is in this story. But for someone to size me up, value me, and put stock in me means so, so much. For all of the times I've been doubted, undervalued, diminished, forgotten, used, etc... when someone comes along and gives you that vote of confidence, someone who thinks you've got potential and wants you to succeed, it turns everything around.
I'm excited about all of this!
Tomorrow, at "high noon", I will have 15 minutes of "self worth time": 5 minutes to think about what I want to do, 10 minutes to make it happen. I'm committing to having this self worth time each day from now on, and writing about what I do with it, and how it impacts me.
I already have lots of ideas for things I'd like to try. I'm nervous because I don't know if these doings will accomplish anything! But if I get to try every day, whether or not I fail occasionally, something's bound to work out. :)
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